When my son was a baby we noticed that his eyes were crossed. He ended up having strabismus and, to correct it, he had to have surgery at 15 months of age. My friend has a baby who is 6 months old, and I think her baby might have the same condition. Should I say something to my friend about my observations? I remember feeling pretty alone when I was dealing with this with my son. I just want to be a support for her, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings or cause tension in our friendship. What should I do?
My first question is, “Does your friend know that your son had strabismus, and that he had to have surgery?” If she does, then my advice is to wait for her to ask for your advice. There’s nothing like unsolicited advice, especially about a medical condition, that can wreak havoc on a friendship.
If she does NOT know of your experience, then I would bring the subject up casually, and just tell her your story without pointing any fingers at her baby’s issues. If she already suspects something is up, she will probably confide in you right then and there about her feelings. Since your goal is to give your friend support and not alienate your friendship, it is best if she is the one who initiates the advice by asking you for it.
By telling her your story, if her baby ends up having strabismus, she will naturally think of you as a resource and seek out your support when she is ready.
Is your baby cross-eyed? Click here for more information on strabismus from the American Optometric Association.
‘Dear Mozey’ is a weekly column where readers may submit questions regarding ANYTHING a mom might need an answer to, but especially wholistic parenting topics. Please note that the names have been changed to protect the identity of my readers.
Click here to submit a question to Dear Mozey.